Yesterday as I was walking, and praying, through the "stations of the cross" at my church I kept thinking about what it would be like if I was there. If I had seen my Father, my Friend, my Beloved, my Son (in Mary's case) up on the cross. But more importantly, what about after that? What the heck are you supposed do after you had just seen Jesus Christ crucified?! Talk about an intensely emotional day.
Looking back on it, we see that those that were there on this day were caught somewhere in between the pain of the cross, and the joy of the Resurrection. I can't begin to imagine how long that Saturday must have felt.
I feel like the instinct reaction for this day would be to weep, mourn, cry out. But right before Jesus is hung on the cross he gently says to the daughters of Israel "Do not weep for me" -Luke 23:28. If he had said that to me in that moment I feel sure that I would be speechless. And if I COULD have said something it probably would have been a little like "Jesus, What the heck?" Which is a question I ask him a lot.
Those that were there were on the brink of the most joyous day in history, yet they were mourning in their pain. I can't help but believe that this is so much like how we are today.
one of my best friends favorite bible verses is
But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him. -2 Corinthians 2:14.
Its striking how true this is. The day stuck in the middle is the most triumphal procession of all time! It was all leading up, yet they couldn't fathom the joy that would come in the morning. This seems perfectly parallel to what is happening right now in my life.
I look back on things that happened in middle school, and realize that God did those things for a reason. Its crazy how that works, mind blowing how things that were happening 7 years ago as I was entering middle school have prepared me for what is happening in my life NOW! as I'm about to enter college! and it is STILL a triumphal procession, things that happened last week have been preparing me for tomorrow! Easter! The Resurrection! I wish there was a key on this keyboard that could express my excitement right now! (Even exclamation marks can't even cut it) But this is no coincidence, these small, medium, and biggy sized, things in my life have all been orchestrated by a great composer to show me the great love that he has. That I feel full of. That I can never comprehend.
Currently I'm in a stuck-in-the-middle sorta position. Kinda like this Saturday is. I have applied for a position to be able to serve God, and high schoolers coming to know Christ, all summer. After 3 months, I have yet to hear back from the organization and currently have no clue what I will be doing this summer. While God is definitely teaching me patience with this situation, what he has taught me more is that I MUST serve. I have to. There is no telling him no. And although I do not know how, what, when, or where I will do this. I know He has STILL prepared a way for me to do so. I'm stuck in the middle and on the brink of his unknown greatness.
I cannot help but believe we are all in this same position in some way or another and that he is
"Preparing God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up." Ephesians 4:12
So as the beauty of the resurrection approaches and we become caught in his love and wonder, I am encouraged to fall on my knees before the cross and wholly surrender to his timing whether it takes him 3 days or 3 months to reveal his plan, or despite the fact that I may want to say to him "Jesus, what the heck?" As he gently comforted the daughters of Israel in Luke 23, he does the same to us, knowing of the joy he has prepared for us. And in that, All I know to do is rejoice.
HAPPY EASTER EVE!
in Christ's Love,
Em
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