SHOOOO WEEE! I have the writing feverrr! For some reason I have been crazy about writing lately, letters, journals, random revelations on the side of my biology notes…hah! That’s a joke, I don’t take biology notes, or do anything in that class as a matter of fact. But I guess I’m finally getting around to the blog thanggg…and it’s about time!
This is the first time I have written since I left for college. Wowzas. To much to comprehend…yes. A little overwhelming…yes. When is God NOT overwhelming? He has opened my eyes in ways that are indescribable. And that doesn’t even cut it. The phrase “opened my eyes” isn’t quite dramatic enough. Renewed my life day after day? Now that sounds more like it. I was looking back over my journal entries from the first of the school year yesterday and I couldn’t help but laugh. It’s insane. Filled with his goodness. Filled with true surrender. Filled things that I could not have planned or been able to dream up in my mind. And it’s nothing of my own.
I have heard about the idea of the “happiness paradox” essentially it say that when people try to live their life solely to make themselves happy, they end up being the most miserable. Hmmm wonder why? Uh maybe because God created our lives so that we may lose it for him!!
I have a lot of friends older than me, and I have also been involved in a non-denominational ministry, Young Life, for a while. I remember last year talking to my friends already in college and being so jealous of all the campus ministries, awesome community, and opportunities they had! I couldn’t wait to do Young Life in college and all sorts of other things, so that I could GROW. My view was obiviously a tad bit wrong…okay, a lot wrong. I came here thinking that Appalachian was the place God wanted me to grow. I never thought about coming here to SERVE.
“For even the Son of God did not come to be served, but to serve, and give his life as a ransom for many.” -Mark 10:45
Sidenote…my computer just caught the mistake that I didn’t capitalize “Son.” It’s not the start of a sentence, or a name, according to Microsoft Word. Why the heck did it just do that other than the fact that it knows that when we talk about Jesus it should be capitalized!? That makes me smile.
So lets get this straight…if we’re supposed to live like Jesus Christ, who’s one goal was to serve his Father, then that should be ours as well. What’s stopping us? For me I think there were two main reasons.
a) I wasn’t worried about serving in the first place. I was worried about growing. I came here so that I could grow. But I see that the reason I’m staying here, is so that I may serve.
b) I don’t think I realized I was able.
It’s obvious that living to grow just won’t work. That’s the whole reason for the happiness paradox. Living for your self doesn’t bring satisfaction. We will never be able to have the sweetness of life if we live a life for our selves. So we serve, we give our life up and live to serve a God and we are blessed with inevitable growth and LIFE!
So what about when I’m having a not so good day? What about the times I feel like I’m not adjusting well to the extreme change that college is? What about when I’m in darkness? But wait…Doesn’t He call us to be lights in the darkness? I’ve realized that sometimes the dark doesn’t have to be a place full of “sin.” I’m gonna be a little vulnerable, in hopes that if you care enough to be reading this, that you don’t care that I’m not perfect and don’t have everything down. (shockerrrr) In fact, I hope this blog is full of showing my learning through weaknesses. ANYWAYS. For me, lately at least, my darkness has been not believing I am not able. LIES.
“For when you are weak, then you are strong” -2 Corinthians 12:10
When I am least able, God makes his presence most known. The least I have of my self, the more God blesses me in filling me with his Spirit! I’ve kind of realized that sometimes it only takes people believing they are able, for them to do something about it. But God tells us we are able. And if we aren’t able, then who is? If we aren’t going to do something then who will? If I don’t talk to that awkward girl down the hall who only stays in her room or in the hall lounge and crochets, then who will? I mean really…
I was talking to one of my best friends from home the other day about something that bothered her in her youth group. She felt like the situation prevented her from growing. I didn’t really know what to say, but God made him self known. The truth became known. It is a blessing that she saw the darkness! It is a blessing that she saw something wrong with the situation because it made her able to do something about it. If she, as a senior girl, a leader, a believer, doesn’t serve God by showing her youth group the light in the darkness that they may be going through, then who will?
Oh my. Think about all the opportunities that open up when we see our lives (both the dark and the light) as chances to SERVE as opposed to chances for growth. Mmmm…Life just got a lot sweeter.
love love love!
Em
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