Serve It Uppp!

SHOOOO WEEE! I have the writing feverrr! For some reason I have been crazy about writing lately, letters, journals, random revelations on the side of my biology notes…hah! That’s a joke, I don’t take biology notes, or do anything in that class as a matter of fact. But I guess I’m finally getting around to the blog thanggg…and it’s about time!

This is the first time I have written since I left for college. Wowzas. To much to comprehend…yes. A little overwhelming…yes. When is God NOT overwhelming? He has opened my eyes in ways that are indescribable. And that doesn’t even cut it. The phrase “opened my eyes” isn’t quite dramatic enough. Renewed my life day after day? Now that sounds more like it. I was looking back over my journal entries from the first of the school year yesterday and I couldn’t help but laugh. It’s insane. Filled with his goodness. Filled with true surrender. Filled things that I could not have planned or been able to dream up in my mind. And it’s nothing of my own.

 I have heard about the idea of the “happiness paradox” essentially it say that when people try to live their life solely to make themselves happy, they end up being the most miserable. Hmmm wonder why? Uh maybe because God created our lives so that we may lose it for him!!

I have a lot of friends older than me, and I have also been involved in a non-denominational ministry, Young Life, for a while. I remember last year talking to my friends already in college and being so jealous of all the campus ministries, awesome community, and opportunities they had! I couldn’t wait to do Young Life in college and all sorts of other things, so that I could GROW. My view was obiviously a tad bit wrong…okay, a lot wrong. I came here thinking that Appalachian was the place God wanted me to grow. I never thought about coming here to SERVE.

“For even the Son of God did not come to be served, but to serve, and give his life as a ransom for many.” -Mark 10:45

Sidenote…my computer just caught the mistake that I didn’t capitalize “Son.” It’s not the start of a sentence, or a name, according to Microsoft Word. Why the heck did it just do that other than the fact that it knows that when we talk about Jesus it should be capitalized!? That makes me smile.

So lets get this straight…if we’re supposed to live like Jesus Christ, who’s one goal was to serve his Father, then that should be ours as well. What’s stopping us? For me I think there were two main reasons.

a)    I wasn’t worried about serving in the first place. I was worried about growing. I came here so that I could grow. But I see that the reason I’m staying here, is so that I may serve.

b)   I don’t think I realized I was able.

It’s obvious that living to grow just won’t work. That’s the whole reason for the happiness paradox. Living for your self doesn’t bring satisfaction. We will never be able to have the sweetness of life if we live a life for our selves. So we serve, we give our life up and live to serve a God and we are blessed with inevitable growth and LIFE!

So what about when I’m having a not so good day? What about the times I feel like I’m not adjusting well to the extreme change that college is? What about when I’m in darkness? But wait…Doesn’t He call us to be lights in the darkness? I’ve realized that sometimes the dark doesn’t have to be a place full of “sin.” I’m gonna be a little vulnerable, in hopes that if you care enough to be reading this, that you don’t care that I’m not perfect and don’t have everything down. (shockerrrr) In fact, I hope this blog is full of showing my learning through weaknesses. ANYWAYS. For me, lately at least, my darkness has been not believing I am not able.  LIES.

“For when you are weak, then you are strong” -2 Corinthians 12:10

When I am least able, God makes his presence most known. The least I have of my self, the more God blesses me in filling me with his Spirit! I’ve kind of realized that sometimes it only takes people believing they are able, for them to do something about it. But God tells us we are able. And if we aren’t able, then who is? If we aren’t going to do something then who will? If I don’t talk to that awkward girl down the hall who only stays in her room or in the hall lounge and crochets, then who will? I mean really…

I was talking to one of my best friends from home the other day about something that bothered her in her youth group. She felt like the situation prevented her from growing. I didn’t really know what to say, but God made him self known. The truth became known. It is a blessing that she saw the darkness! It is a blessing that she saw something wrong with the situation because it made her able to do something about it. If she, as a senior girl, a leader, a believer, doesn’t serve God by showing her youth group the light in the darkness that they may be going through, then who will?

Oh my. Think about all the opportunities that open up when we see our lives (both the dark and the light) as chances to SERVE as opposed to chances for growth. Mmmm…Life just got a lot sweeter.

love love love!

Em

A Tad Bit Tardy...

Sooo I wrote this blog a long time ago...almost four months ago actually, but for some reason I'm just getting to post it. I'm not quite sure why it has taken me this long to copy and paste something from a word document to a blog post. but who really cares? here it is...finally.

So I have to write about Puerto Rico. I mean there is no way that I can capture everything from that week into words. But it’s the effort that counts right? I’ve been putting this off for a while. I mean it’s just so impossible!! Ever tried to capture God’s glory in words? Exactly. It ain’t gonna happen. But I have an ultimatum for myself…I can’t read Lou Bankhead's blog about Puerto Rico until I write my own. And I’m pretty antsy about reading hers so it’s forcing me to do this. 

I guess I should probably start this by saying I wasn’t even planning on going to Puerto Rio. But God was. He was planning on being there, and he was planning on getting me there, somehow, someway. Even if that meant throwing away my hopes of working at a Young Life camp this summer…which he tossed out the window pretty blatantly. Disappointed? Yes. A little pissed? Yes.  Could have thrown kittens? Yes. Needless to say, when I found out that the logistics of the camp didn’t allow for me to go, I was not a happy camper. (pun intended, I was neither happy nor a camper)

Isn’t it funny how distracted we get from God’s plans when we have our own?  Literally, It really is humorous to me, I mean I kinda imagine God poking me like the Pillsbury doughboy and giggling being like “haha! See! Shoulda listened to me earlierrrr!”  I feel like God laughs with me a lot when I’m humbled in that way.

Back to the point…at this time I thought that I wasn’t going to be able to go to Puerto Rico (all the spots were filled at the time) or YL camp.  I was pretty upset that I was not going to be able to serve God this summer.

Time out…A) How dumb was I to think that I couldn’t serve our Lord without leaving the 704? B) How dumb was I to think that God would ignore a heart that was willing and ready to serve him?

Now that we’ve pointed out just how ridiculous I was being…. I now know, I was supposed to be in Puerto Rico. I can’t imagine my summer with out it now.  And it’s only been 2 weeks!  And once I found out that there was an open spot for the trip I could have turned cartwheels, actually I’m pretty sure I did.  I was acting out of my mind nonetheless.

“If we are out of our minds it is for the sake of God” -2 Corinthians 5:13

and when I say out of my mind, I mean it. I’m already a little over the top, and when the excitement over the Holy Spirit gets in me, I’m “ridiculous” as my friends called me while they watched me dance and jump around on the beach then run in circles and try to jump over waves as they washed in. Don’t think of this as a graceful dancing around. I was bouncing off the walls yelling for all of ocean lakes to hear “I’M GOING TO FREAKIN PUERTO RICO IN THREE DAYSSSSSSSSS!”  There was nothing calm about it, it was just one of those moments where you can’t contain your excitement! And for some reason it hit me and busted out on Myrtle Beach while I was laying on a towel talking to my best friends about bikini’s we liked and what our plans for the rest of the summer were. God has way of making a fool outta me. Don’t you just love his spontaneity??

I really need to stop rambling…. Point is, previous to Puerto Rico I was looking to serve God with my own plans. God made it clear to me that’s not how he works.  I was looking to find Him in my own plans that were obviously doomed from the start because they were MINE and not HIS. I was looking for light in a cave.

 I’ve gone caving a few times, and every time the cave ends. You hit a wall eventually. 

After Jesus was buried, Mary Magdalene, Joanna, and Mary the mother of James and some others went to the tomb to find Jesus.

“Why do you look for the living among the dead?” –Luke 24:5

They, like us, look for light among darkness. We travel deeper and deeper into our tombs in search of life. Why would we want to live our life amongst the dead? Imagining that is enough to creep me out.

I’m taking another time out so hang with me. I promise it will all tie in…. I have heard this question a lot; If someone claims to be “saved” and then lives as though they don’t know Jesus Christ are they really saved? It’s a scary question. And probably a little dangerous to write about since I’m an 18-year-old girl who has no theological training or seminary experience of any of that stuff. But for some reason I’m gonna go out on a limb and talk about it anyways. (I’m tellin ya, being crazy in love makes you do crazy things)

So, to answer that…I believe we have skewed the idea of what it means to be  “saved.” Does our salvation really depend on praying a specific prayer? No. David Platt once said

“You will not find a verse in scripture where people are told to ‘bow your heads, close your eyes and repeat after me…we have reduced the infinitely worthy Lord of all into a poor puny Savior who is begging us to accept him” 

Scripture never even focuses on “accepting Christ.” He is the God of all ages. Do you seriously think he needs our acceptance? WE need HIM. Not the other way around. Salvation is a little more than kneeling at an alter or filling out a card. (hah! Understatement.) It is realizing our sinfulness and depravity, seeing the broken states of our hearts, feeling the desperate need for our Savior, falling at his feet and knowing we can do nothing but surrender ALL to him.

That’s when we realize we are in a cave. In search of life among the dead. We hit that back wall and see that it goes no further. Praise God for that wall! When we realize how empty we really are, only then may we be filled by Jesus Christ. We have to be broken down for him to build us up.  Through salvation he gives us the gift of grace but also creates a new heart. Builds a new creation.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come” -2 Corinthians 5:17

 A new creation and heart that desires what he desires, that seeks him, loves and longs for him and is desperate for his love.  And through this we realize that salvation’s gift is, not just forgiveness for our sins, but is knowing God as our father, friend, and love. The only way to respond to this is surrendering and abandoning ourselves completely and fully so that we may know and experience him in all his glory.

Dang son. I haven’t even gotten to tell all the good stuff about the actual trip.  But I suppose this is enough for one blog. I have been so encouraged to pray for those around me and myself to realize the emptiness of our spiritual bellies and begin to gain a hunger for Jesus Christ. Crazy stuff. And in all honestly I probably didn’t write this very well. God is kinda throwing things at me right now and it’s a little tricky to organize all these thoughts. More of Puerto Rico is coming though!

In Christ’s Love,

Em